I smiled my best smile and as caring as I could be, I said, "That's too bad you are so centered on yourself and are making others around you miserable." Now I had her full attention! She looked at me as if I had not understood a word she said and so further explained, rather curtly, "No, it doesn't involve others, it's just me. I'm the one that's depressed... I never bother others with it." She was so sincere in her explanation.
I explained to her, "self misery effects others just as self joy spills over and lifts the spirits of those near us. When we are miserable it can cause those near us to also be miserable, this is why depression is so very self-centered.
"Well, I have had allot of bad things happen to me!" she justified.
I smiled real big and answered, "I can certainly understand that, so have I."
She rolled her eyes as if to say, "oh no, am I going to have to listen to his crap!" I was not going to let it end though, I wanted her to be happy, maybe I could help. I kept on explaining, I have a joy in my life, I love life." Even though I have lost both my beautiful children, I still love life." Now she was listening, I continued, "I lost my 26 year old son to suicide, six years later I lost my beautiful 36 year old daughter to an accidental drug overdose." I could see instantly I had hit home, she had at least one child, I could see it in her face as she said, "Oh God I am so sorry!" She was struggling with understanding this little debate we had engaged in, this was a new concept to her. When I left she had a smile on her face. She had taken her thoughts away from herself just long enough to make her smile.
:::
My friend Sailboat Dick walking over to greet a fishin' buddy at sunrise on Vero's beach. He says "It is impossible to fish and worry at the same time."
Questions from a friend in relation to a story I had told him of a man whom had decided against the taking of his own life. I told my friend I had made this simple statement to him, "You do not have the right to take your own life, it does not belong just to you. You can do whatever you want in this life, except... hurt others!":
Friend Why do you suppose he talked about that with you?
Answer I had met him and given him my card, he went to my web site and then asked me to lunch. He said he had a pressing matter. He told me at our lunch he thought I seemed to know some about suicide and might give him reason to stop those thoughts.
F What do you suppose could displace the hurt, in addition to not wanting to cause pain to others?
A A love for others that caused him to put their feelings in front of his own thereby causing him to take another look at how serious his problem really was. Evidently not important enough to hurt his loved ones and friends. His shame in seeing what he was about to do to others displaces the pain.
F Each time you cast, you have to be involved in that action. How do you suppose he lost the fascination in that?
A Suicide is a self-centered act, he got his eyes off himself long enough to end the fascination. He put his eyes on others instead.
F How will his new insight hold?
A Like the majority of those who take their lives, he has a very soft heart and would really hurt no one deliberately. Once he centered on the welfare of others instead of centering on self he can focus more clearly and see the forest regardless of the trees.
F Good, good, he will be glad, and pass it on somehow.
"If you want to be happy in this life, forget about yourself."
****
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us" ~Emerson
****
If I die, survive me with such sheer force
that you waken the furies of the pallid and the cold,
from south to south lift your indelible eyes,
from sun to sun dream through your singing mouth.
I don't want your laughter or your steps to waver,
I don't want my heritage of joy to die.
Don't call up my person. I am absent.
Live in my absence as if in a house.
Absence is a house so vast
that inside you will pass through its walls
and hang pictures on the air
Absence is a house so transparent
that I, lifeless, will see you, living,
and if you suffer, my love, I will die again.
~Pablo Neruda
:::
I have a love affair with my home state of Florida.
Soul of the Land
If I should leave this land and not return,
The colors of its tropic dawns would burn
Behind my eyelids like an opal's flames,
And I would hear the music of the names
That Indians gave to rivers, lakes and streams
Like tom-toms pulsing. Sometimes in my dreams
I'd seek a certain secret jungle place
Where orchids, tangled in the jungle lace,
Are like bright swirls of vivid butterflies.
I'd hear the tropic night alive with cries
Of birds and prowling creatures of the dark.
I'd see jeweled lizards racing on the bark
Of ancient trees gray-veiled with Spanish moss.
I'd see the sun reflecting golden gloss
Of citrus groves and sense the rich perfume
That scents the silver of the moons that loom
Above this savage land. A thousand scenes
Would crowd my memory-book ... the living greens
Of forest and the changing blues of seas.
A tapestry of treasured memories.
One picture more than all, would seem to hold
This land's great soul inframed in tawny gold,
A picture that will ever haunt my eyes . . .
Wrought-iron trees against vast stained-glass skies.
~Don Blanding
******
Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret? ~ Gibran